Tag Archives: ban hipsters

Ban Hipster Movement (BHM) takes action

As Jude walked in to Randall’s for his regular shift he noticed a few emos gathered around the light pole in front. They were pointing in his direction and were obviously laughing at him.

“Why the hell are you laughing at me!!! You got a problem,” Jude yelled angrily at them.

One of the emos threw a flyer to the ground in front of him, turned away laughing and ran with the others down the street.

Jude picked up the flyer and it read:

The Ban Hipster Movement (BHM) Invites you to a Special Event

WHAT IS IT?….. The Destroy HipsterJude Swim-Off, Loser quits his job at Randall’s

WHERE & WHEN?…. The YMCA, next Sunday, everyone come to watch, it’s free

WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN?… Billy Emo will Obliterate HipsterJude at the YMCA pool and HipsterJude will be forced to resign from Randall’s.

(P.S. Make sure to stop by Randall’s and “wish” Jude good luck, HA HA HA)

Obviously Jude was seriously pissed and he crumpled the flyer and threw it on the sidewalk. He immediately grabbed his phone to text Clemmy and Stefan when he noticed a new email from Clemmy.

The subject line of the email read, “Please Read ASAP.”

(Related posts……..Occupy Randall’s part II……..Occupy Randall’s part I…….Clemmy’s good luck present to Jude)


Ban-Hipster Movement (BHM)

Right outside of Randall’s there are several light posts that always have various advertisements on them.

Normally Jude didn’t pay any attention to the advertisements on his way to work, but on this day one piece of paper on the pole struck him right between the eyes.

On the middle of the pole there was an obnoxiously fluorescent green paper that said the following:

DEATH TO ALL HIPSTERS, Join the BHM (Ban-Hipsters Movement). Go to our website www.allhipstersdie.com for more information.

Jude couldn’t believe his eyes. He ripped the piece of paper off the pole with a rare show of violence and threw it on the ground as he walked into Randall’s.

(author’s irony note: the fact that Jude littered, illustrates just how mad he was, Hipster don’t litter)

Jude had a few minutes before his shift started so he sat in a booth and used his Iphone to search for the website. He found the site quickly, because he was using an Iphone, and the site was abhorrent. It was so bad his mouth fell open and his purple fedora almost hit the floor. Continue reading