I know this is horrible timing, but I just can’t keep my feelings inside anymore. The past couple of weeks have been absolutely crazy, but fortunately Jude seems to be in a really good place right now.
I’m dying to tell him how I feel and think maybe the time is right. I thought about waiting until after the swim-off, but then I worried if he lost to Billy Emo he wouldn’t be able to handle any more heartache.
Oh god, I just admitted that I think he has a chance to lose to Billy Emo, please help me. But then if I tell him before the swim-off, I’m worried that it could put him back into the mental place he was after the hair clipper incident.
Anyway, as selfish as it may be, I have to tell him how I feel. You are probably wondering what in the world could be bothering me, what in the world could stir all of these emotions…………..
I can’t handle his poetry. All the rhyming is driving me fucking crazy. I think he’s forgotten that I have a minor in Creative Writing and I’ve never been a fan of rhyming poetry.
Rhyming is so mainstream and it makes my stomach turn. I know that his poetry is sweet and he’s writing to me out of love, but it’s truly embarrassing.
When he reads his poetry at open mic night at Randall’s, I can see all the literary types laughing under their breath while he’s up on stage. It’s as if my beauty blinds him from the ability to create real poetry.
I’m honestly at a loss.
Do I tell him now before the swim-off? Do I wait until after? Do I buy him a Misti Rainwater-Lites chapbook as a subtle hint.
Oh diary, please help me decide. I wish you were a real person. Maybe I should just flip a coin.