With things being so crazy lately, Jude and Clemmy decided they needed to find a way to get back to some normalcy.
A couple of days earlier, Jude found a flyer sitting on top of a newspaper stand outside of Randall’s that read: “Hipster Support Group; Be in the Know. We meet every Sunday night, 8 PM at St. Paul’s Catholic Church, basement”
He showed the flyer to Clemmy and they both decided it would be a great idea. On Sunday night, they arrived at St. Paul’s with smiles on their faces and renewed spirits.
They walked into the basement and immediately felt like they had found their long, lost home…… their heaven on earth. There were about 15 people already seated and it looked like a corduroy-beard factory.
Everyone was either sexily bearded, had cords on or both. A couple of the guys actually had fedoras on (thankfully, not purple). And the air was filled with the dank aroma of cloves, patchouli and exotic teas.
As they were walking in, they noticed a svelte man in suspenders walking towards the podium so they quickly took two seats in the back row.
“Hello everyone, nice crowd tonight. For the new people, I notice a couple of strange faces in the back row, my name is Stefan and welcome to the Hipster Support Group. I created this group to help Hipsters deal with the growing Hipster-Racism in our culture and also to help educate Hipsters on clothes, entertainment, food, etc. It’s very important that we remain Hipster and not succumb to the evils of that which is mainstream.” (everyone clapped and a few people let out shouts of “hell yeah”)
Jude looked at Clemmy happily and clutched her hand tightly inside his. Their eyes lit up and sparkled like never before.
Stefan then reached to a tripod poster board stand next to the podium and turned back the first page to reveal the following:
Meeting 13 Topic: Hipster or Not Hipster- A refresher on remaining Hipster
Stefan turned the page:
Turkish Tea, Cloves, 80’s Sitcom Lunch Boxes, Fedoras = Hipster
Lady Gaga, Coldplay, Nikki Minaj = NOT HIPSTER
*****Special Note: BECK is ALWAYS HIPSTER *****
For several minutes, Stefan kept turning pages with similar characterizations on them. There had to be about 25 or 30 of them. Amazingly, Jude and Clemmy agreed with nearly every single page. This erased any doubt of their Hipsterdom. If this was a Hipster-Exam, they both would have received an A+ and possibly and honorary Master’s Degree in Hipsterology.
A calm fell over both of them and both truly felt at home.
Then Stefan turned to the last page. It seemed innocent at first with the top of the page including Stefan’s email address and cell phone number. But the bottom of the page read: “Next Week’s Topic- The Rise of Billy Emo.”
Jude’s blood began to boil and he now squeezed Clemmy’s hand uncomfortably hard. She could see the rage filling his eyes.
Somehow, Billy Emo had again found a way to haunt them both.