emails between Jude & Stefan

Later in the evening after the support group meeting, Jude emailed Stefan:

Sunday 11:30 P.M.

Dear Stefan,

Firstly, my girlfriend Clemmy and I truly enjoyed the Hipster Support Group and appreciate you starting the organization. We feel very strongly about the cause and look forward to getting more involved. While we enjoyed the first part of the meeting, we were a little surprised at the topic for next week.

Maybe you already know, but Billy Emo and I are in the middle of a terrible feud. He used to date Clemmy and he’s been harassing me for a while now. I recently failed at destroying him by trying to cut off his hair. It’s a long story, but it went terribly bad. Now he has a bad-ass tattoo and seems more popular than ever. I’ve worked at Randall’s for years and he has seemingly taken the place over recently, especially after the tattoo.

I’m hoping maybe we can collaborate on how to ruin Billy Emo. He’s fucking up my life and I don’t know what to do. All of this stress is seriously jeopardizing my relationship with my love Clemmy, my patchouli muse. I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT LOSE HER.

Your new friend,

Jude Linkster, A True Hipster


Sunday 11:58 P.M.

Dearest Jude,

Thanks so much for coming to the meeting and for your interest, true hipsters are difficult to find these days.

There is much we need to discuss, but not over email or phone……too dangerous.

Meet me tomorrow morning at 7:30 at Starbucks and central ave. so we can talk. Very bright there, no chance for Emo-fucks to be around.


The Stefan – President, Hipster Support Group

PS-Do not wear a fedora, we don’t want people being totally sure we are hipsters. I will be wearing boot-cut jeans instead of skinny.


8 thoughts on “emails between Jude & Stefan

  1. Pingback: Million Hipster March (screw Trump) | HipsterStories

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