“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain,” Bob Marley
For several hours after Clemmy left his apartment, Jude could only think about how to save her. He thought back to that first date and how she was so enamored by the record player he brought to Randall’s.
He remembered that smile and he wished he could reach out and touch her beautiful lips again. But she seemed so far away. He had so many ideas running through his head on how to win her back.
Then suddenly, a scene from his favorite movie Say Anything, danced into his brain. He knew what to do.
He quickly grabbed his ukulele, put on his purple fedora and ran to Clemmy’s apartment. He arrived outside her apartment, sweating from running. (Jude hasn’t ever run more than 2 blocks in his life and he was a bit out of breath.)
He texted Clemmy to look down from her second story window and he began to strum and sing……
“Ohhhhhhh Clemmy, my sweet patchouli muse,
your heart so pure, it’s you I can’t lose.
Ohhhhhhh Clemmy, such a mistake I made.
It’s only been a few hours, but your heart I can’t trade.
Ohhhhhhh Clemmy, can you please forgive?
My sweet patchouli muse, without you I can’t live.”
“Die you stupid hipster,” was heard from Clemmy’s downstairs neighbor, but it did not deter Jude.
He looked up and could see a few tears falling down her cheeks, but she had yet to speak.
She unbuttoned her shorts (the assless corduroy ones), pulled them off and held them out the window in his direction. Although it was dark he could see a hint of her untrimmed bush and his loins began to melt. With her other hand she lit the shorts on fire and an enormous smile crossed her face.
She threw the shorts out the window and they drifted to the ground in a bright, orange flare that illuminated her face in the window. It was a sign that she was prepared to give Jude her full heart.
She blew him a kiss, he pulled off his purple fedora and pretended to catch it.
And to Jude’s relief, the hip-fatuation was back on.