Scene: After the Billy Emo hair buzzing incident at Randall’s, Jude’s manager Cindy texted him to come in for a meeting ASAP.
Cindy- I called you in today because of the “event” that took place the other night.
Jude (acting bewildered)– What “event” are you speaking about?
Cindy (getting angry)- Are you kidding me Jude??? I watched the video surveillance footage from that night and you know what I saw?
Jude (getting nervous)– Um, we have cameras at Randall’s???
Cindy- I watched you pick out a black hoodie from our lost and found bin, put it on and go into the bathroom. Then I watched you walk out of the bathroom, hide in a dark corner by the stage and attack Billy Emo.
I watched your dumb ass get caught in that extension cord and watched you fall flat on your face. There is even footage of you sitting by the dumpster in the alley. I’m not positive, but it looked like you were crying.
Jude- Cameras??? Are you serious??? Videotaping the shop must be against my civil rights or something. I think I may call a lawyer. What would make you put cameras up???
Cindy- Exactly for situations like this, we have to protect ourselves from lawsuits.
Before you say anything else, I am formally letting you know that, effective today, you are suspended from work for one week.
Jude– You have to be shitting me.
Cindy- You are damn lucky you aren’t fired. Billy Emo was going to quit and sue us until we agreed to pay for his new tattoo.
Jude- TATTOO!!!! Why would you do that???
Cindy- Well, instead of letting the hair grow back on the side of his head that YOU buzzed off, he’s going to get a tattoo there.
I don’t know what your problem with Billy Emo is, but he brings profit to Randall’s. He has a huge following and we need the revenue.
Jude- He started it. He left me a mean note in here one day and it upset me….
Cindy (interrupting)- Jude, you’re acting like a baby. Look, I like you. You serve a mean cup of coffee, but you need to get your act together. Next time something like this happens, you are history. I will see you in a week.
And by the way, nice mustache.
Jude went home in disbelief. Back to the drawing board.