After the horrific clipper scene at Randall’s, Jude found the strength to drag his wounded soul (and beard) back to his apartment. He looked in the mirror and the horror became real.
Half of his beard; his pride and joy, was buzzed from his face. He looked like the pathetic homeless guy on the corner begging for change.
“Why, oh why, did this happen? My plan was perfect,” Jude whined into the mirror.
He was left with no choice, he would have to do what was once unthinkable.
“Clemmy, I’m shaving my beard, no choice, feeling like shit,” Jude texted.
Jude turned the clippers on and did the deed. His hand was shaking as he buzzed what was left of his epic beard. Fortunately, he was able to save his mustache and it actually looked pretty damn cool. His hipster identity would be intact.
He scraped together the last bits of his beard from the sink and put it in a zip lock baggie.
“Beard officially gone, was sad, but mustache looks killer. Mailed beard scraps to Locks of Love, that cancer donation thing for kids,” Jude texted Clemmy.
Clemmy, impressed by her man’s gigantic heart, couldn’t believe Jude was thinking about donating his leftover beard hair to help kids with cancer. “What an incredible soul he has,” she thought to herself.
She then texted Jude some encouragement: “Sweet Jude, don’t worry about the other night. The plan was good, you had no idea how strong that cord was. We will get through this, there has to be another way to get Billy Emo.”
A smile returned to Jude’s face as he read Clemmy’s text. Then, a text came in from his manager Cindy; “Need you to come in for a quick meeting ASAP.”
Jude twisted each side of his mustache with his fingers as his smile disappeared.