emo depression smacks Jude in the face

After the meeting about the new “Emo-Hip-Centric” nights at Randall’s, Jude was off for two days; nothing out of the ordinary, just his normal days off.

For those two days, he didn’t leave his apartment and only briefly texted with Clemmy.

He was so depressed he actually watched Modern Family re-runs instead of documentaries. He also ate two bags of mainstream Cool Ranch Doritos instead of his usual Whole Foods trail mix. He absolutely wasn’t feeling his normal hipster self.

He was writing a ton of notes in his poetry journal:

Journal Notes- the day Randall’s changed (write poem later)

“meeting at Randall’s, mgr. bitch Cindy broke us the news- billy emo is somehow working with us now, some bull-shit emo-hipster deejay, blows my fedora off my head

Clemmy’s ex is haunting me, entering my world, he must be doing this on purpose, this must be his plan

What to do next? Do I quit? Do I stay and fight? Do I try to attack him, in a non-violent way of course??

Pros/Cons of quitting-

Pros of staying: no more billy emo (I refuse to capitalize his name), no more college student fake hipsters, it will probably be overtaken by billy and his emo friends

Cons of quitting: I freakin’ love Randall’s, no more free Turkish tea on my breaks, people being jealous that I work there, the scene is so rad

I’m freakin’ out, need some Xanax and my patchouli muse………”

(Related Posts: the infiltration of billy emo, jude uses yelp, dear jude-clemmy drops a bomb)


5 thoughts on “emo depression smacks Jude in the face

  1. Pingback: jude greeted with emo posters at work | HipsterStories

  2. Pingback: plan in action, destroy billy emo (part I.) | HipsterStories

  3. Pingback: Dear Mr. Xanax (jude relaxes) | HipsterStories

  4. Pingback: Occupy Randall’s (Part I) | HipsterStories

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