Jude uses Yelp

After Clemmy dropped the bomb, Jude felt the need to drink. Drink heavily. He went to an Irish bar around the corner from his apartment called The Rover.

“I’ll have a double Jameson, neat,” Jude said with an uninspired mutter.

The bartender rolled his eyes and could only imagine what must be bothering the fedora-wearing hipster who smells odd. It only took Jude about 2 seconds to make the Irish whiskey disappear after the bartender set it down in front of him.

“You ever had one of those days man, when you find out that girlfriend used to be an Emo,” Jude mouthed pathetically to the bartender.

“Do you need anything else, my shift is about over,” said the bartender annoyingly.

Jude asked for a Guiness, took his Iphone out of his corduroy jean pocket and clicked on his Yelp app.

He checked in at the Rover and left the following review:

“Came to this Irish bar to soak my sorrows after a hard day. Bartender seemed disinterested when I tried to engage him in convo. At first I thought it was my purple fedora that turned him off. I had to throw back a couple Jameson shots and some Guinness. It’s not everyday that you find out that your girlfriend used to be an Emo. I mean holy crap, I had no idea. I feel betrayed. I feel tricked. I feel like totally lost. The atmosphere at this bar is pretty rad, even if the bartender is a douche. I’m digging the Celtic Football jerseys hanging from the ceiling. How the hell could she have dated Billy Emo???? WTF??? By the way, avoid the second stall in the men’s bathroom, it’s a disaster and someone wrote “Hipsters suck donkey cock,” on the back of the door. Sounds like Billy Emo was in there. I can’t believe Clemmy’s lips touched that douche bag. I give Rover’s 2 out of 5 stars.”

(Related posts: Clemmy drops a bomb; open mic night, jude’s revenge; a letter from billy emo)


3 thoughts on “Jude uses Yelp

  1. Pingback: will the hip-fatuation continue???? | HipsterStories

  2. Pingback: emo depression smacks Jude in the face | HipsterStories

  3. Pingback: Billy Emo Strikes Again | HipsterStories

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