Clemmy calls 1-976 Hipster

hipsterphoneAfter their first, magical date, Clementine needed some sexual relief.  So she called a Hipster Sex Line……..

Clemmy: (after dialing 1-976-HIPSTER and giving her credit card number) Hi there, I’m a little nervous, I’ve never done this before.

     Hipster Sex Operator: Don’t be nervous, I’m here to ease your stress and a ease a few other things….if you know what I mean.

Clementine:  Oh well, that sounds nice.  Can you call me Clemmy?

    Hipster Sex Operator: Sure thing Clemmy?

Clemmy:  (giggling) Oh yeah, that’s nice.  I’m already getting wet, tell me about your vintage records.

    Hipster Sex Operator:Glad you asked, I have quite the vinyl collection.  Original Sgt. Peppers, Hendrix Isle of Wight,  Johnny Cash, Salt N Peppa………

Clemmy: (gently moaning) I was so close until Salt N Peppa.  Let me hear about your beard and wardrobe  (hands in panties)

    Hipster Sex Operator: (deep, throaty voice) Oh Clemmy, I’ve been growing my beard for 3 years now, no trimming at all.  I even dyed it the same reddish-brown color as my favorite skinny jeans.  I airbrushed my own extra tight, t-shirt that says, “Vote Hipster in 2016” and dipped it in patchouli.

Clemmy: (intense moaning, fingers grinding hard) ALMOST THERE, talk about craft beer………..

    Hipster Sex Operator: (even deeper, throatier voice) I just cracked open a Chimay Triple, a Belgian masterpiece that has to be served in a specific glass to enjoy the vibrant Bavarian hops.  It was created by Trappist Monks.

Clemmy: YES, YES, YES, YES…..(deep, long breaths) Thank you so much, I needed that.

    Hipster Sex Operator:  Anytime Clemmy.  I’m headed out to a spoken word open mic night in the park and will back after midnight if you need more.

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4 thoughts on “Clemmy calls 1-976 Hipster

  1. Pingback: Dear Diary (Clemmy’s confession) | HipsterStories

  2. Pingback: the second date (vintage cassettes) | HipsterStories

  3. Pingback: dear diary, more Clemmy confessions | HipsterStories

  4. Pingback: Clemmy calls 1-976 Hipster — HipsterStories | Duh'Merica

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