(Jude writes a mini-column and submits it to his editor at the Hip Page)
You have really done it now Kayne. When you “fake” interrupted Beck’s acceptance speech at the Grammy’s, you did something that you probably didn’t realize.
You stepped, I mean, hurdled over the Hipster Line. Beck has been a stalwart of the Hipster community for years. His music, his hats, his dancing and even his Scientology have been helping the Hipster community salivate into their craft beers for ages.
When you approached the stage, my fedora shook and my mustache nearly wilted from the anticipation of what you might do.
In true Hipster fashion, Beck calmly invited you to join him instead of losing his cool. That’s because he’s Hipster, through and through. Hipsters don’t loose their cool.
Hipsters aren’t scared of black men with odd jaw-lines who think they are Jesus reincarnated. Hipsters don’t marry women who make crappy, amateur porn videos with wannabe rappers. Hipsters never falter.
So your pathetic attempt to poke fun at yourself by “fake” interrupting Beck was a dismal failure.
Most of our culture has been fooled by your misguided confidence and Titanic-sized ego. But there is one sub-culture that will never fall for your rouse.
So, while you are at home licking Kim’s tainted buttocks, remember that the Hipster community is using a picture of your face as a urinal cake. Millions of hipsters will read this and millions will laugh at your jowls.
Jude the Hip-Page Movie Reviewer