open mic night (braggart jude)

Scene: Jude is so excited about his new project with the Hip Page, he’s pretty much pissing himself.  He invited Clemmy to open mic night at Randall’s for her to hear his new offering.  Randall’s is busy and Jude goes on first.  The lights dim, Clemmy is standing at the back waiting excitedly.

Jude- I would like to dedicate my newest offering to my dearest Clemmy and to all my fellow hipster supporters out there and especially Billy Emo.  I call it;

Suck On It B.E.

You doubted me, you mocked my every move

while I filled your cups with the latest brews

you pointed your plastic fingers

directly in my face,

told me I would never escape the latte grind,

while I choked on the cream and sugar

Because of my talent, my immense creative skills,

Take a look at the newest movie reviewer for the Hip Pages.

So thanks for the jeers, thanks for always doubting me so……

Lick my hairy, white ass muther’ fuckers’

and SUCK IT BILLY EMO!!!!!

After speaking the last line, Jude dropped the mic violently to the ground.  Violently, like he just became the Randall’s MMA champion by submitting Billy Emo with a vicious choke-hold.

Clemmy stared in disbelief and confusion.  She wasn’t sure whether to be pissed off or to take her man into the back alley and blow him like a Dyson.

Is Jude finished at Randall’s?  Is Jude actually going to be a published writer now?

HOLY SHIT!!!  HOLY-HIPSTER-SHIT!!!

 

 

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