jude & ebola

o-EBOLA-VIRUS-facebook(Scene: Jude has become increasingly frustrated with the Billy Emo situation after Billy’s mom spoke at Randall’s. So Jude tries to use the recent Ebola crisis to get out of work. He texts Cindy.)

Jude- Hey Cindy, not sure I can make it in to my shift tonight.

Cindy- What the hell r u talking about? U better get ur ass here, without fail.

Jude- Well, u let Billy Emo’s mom speak at Randall’s the other night and her boyfriend is from West Africa.

Cindy- r u kidding me??? What does her African boyfriend have to do anything?

Jude- wake up Cindy, ever heard of Ebola???? Her boyfriend is from West Africa, that’s where Ebola starts. And didn’t u notice that Billy’s mom looked a bit feverish?????

Cindy- holy fuck Jude, u r really trying this right now? Get ur ass to work, OR ELSE!!!!!

Jude- look here, I’ve read the Hot Zone by Richard Preston and I know JUST how dangerous Ebola can be. And I’m not about to put myself at risk. And you should be ashamed that u r willing to put your employees at risk. I’m absolutely shocked at your disregard.

Cindy- Jude, u r a total dumbass. Her boyfriend was born in Liberia and moved here in the 70’s. He’s never been back to Africa. Unless he’s been hiding Ebola in his freezer, we have nothing to worry about.

Jude- OMG!!! What about his family members??? Surely some of those disease carriers have visited him recently??? He’s probably a carrier and now Randall’s is a veritable HOT ZONE. I think it’s time for me to call the CDC.

Cindy- those “carriers” r people u freakin idiot. If u don’t show up to work tonight, u r FIRED. Is that clear?

Jude- well, if I come to work and I get Ebola, I’m going to hire the best lawyer in town.

Cindy- if u get Ebola, u will probably die. Show up or get FIRED.

Jude- this is the worst management ever, I’m showing up, but under protest. U suck Cindy.


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