I’m sorry to send you this email so close to the swim-off, but I just couldn’t wait any longer. I know we’ve been through a lot during the first part of our relationship and no matter what’s happened, we’ve been able to make it.
So, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I have to tell you………….I can’t handle your rhyming poetry. Please don’t hate me, but it’s been bothering me for some time now.
I know your poetry to me comes from your heart, but the rhyming has to stop. At the last open mic night, the literary types were laughing at you and me. I could hardly take it. Sometimes I think you forget that I have a degree in Creative Writing.
I was thinking that, instead of poetry, maybe you could direct your creative efforts in another direction. There’s a blog called DunceFeed that has a story on there that blew my mind. It was about a hipster in Seattle who started something called “Tapeflicks.” It’s like Netflix except that instead of DVD’s you get VHS movies sent to your house.
The brilliance of that idea made me think of you. Could you imagine getting VHS tapes in the mail throughout the month? Absolutely incredible. I think you should try to partner with the creator. The two of you together could probably do amazing things together.
Anyway, there is so much creativity inside your mind, just not so much in the poetry section of your brain. But that’s ok, I still love you my sweet Jude. Please don’t take this the wrong way. I feel like we need to be honest with each other about our feelings.
Clemmy, your patchouli muse
P.S. I can’t wait until you destroy Billy Emo next week. Oh sweet Jude, you are the man.